You are probably familiar with the Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

This prayer, written in the early 1930s by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, contains deep wisdom. It is a waste of your time and energy to struggle with the things that are out of your control, but it’s equally pointless to ignore and do nothing about things you can change. Unfortunately – this is why it’s a prayer – this advice is easier said than done, right?

If it is challenging for you to accept the things you cannot control, here are some tips:

Identify what lies within your sphere of influence.

The first step to accepting things you can’t control is to understand what you can control and what you can’t. Things you can control include:

• Your own behavior and way be being
• Your own actions
• Your own responses to the events around you

it is said that what others do or say to you is none of your business.  However, how you respond to what others do or say to you is all your business.

Things you can’t control include:

• The natural world (including the weather)
• The built world (politics, etc.)
• Other people

Is there a common thread you observe? You are 100% in charge of your own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions, but you can’t control external forces.

Surrender to the unchangeable

Identifying what is and isn’t in your control is one thing, but it can still be a challenge to accept that truth. Here are two simple tools can help:

Meditation/Spirituality

Meditation allows you to release distracting thoughts and practice mindfulness and being in the moment.  This practice assists you in letting go of the needs to control those things you can’t control, and allows you to manage your own thoughts and emotions.

Meditation will help quiet those negative thoughts that show up in your mind and let go of stress with just a few days of regular practice.  To begin, try one of the many free meditation apps available for your smartphone, or find them on YouTube.  One app I use is Insight Timer and the meditation I practice is Transcendental meditation.    https://www.tm.org/home-instructor?va-red=NTgwOTo2NTg4

Reason

If meditation isn’t your style, reason may be the answer. When we are emotionally immersed in something, it’s difficult to take a moment to reflect and acknowledge what we can and can’t control. In these times, do your best to take a breather and look at the situation objectively, as though it was happening to a friend. What are the facts of the matter? Reason will get you to quickly observe what is yours to control, and what is outside of your sphere of influence.

Move ahead with purpose

As soon as you embrace what you can’t control, you can cease worrying and begin using that same energy to plan, problem solve, communicate with others, and handle your own inner state.

For instance, you have no control of the weather while on vacation.  However, you can research the weather patterns at your vacation destination prior to choosing your travel dates.  You can prepare and plan for every kind of weather and imagine yourself smiling and feeling ecstatic through every possible combination of weather because it’s your vacation, and you deserve to enjoy it.